“I Feel Like a Stranger in My Own Body” What’s Really Going On in Perimenopause?
Recently, I attended a Bollywood party—a vibrant celebration of life, friendship and movement. It was wonderful to be surrounded by accomplished women dressed in stunning, colorful outfits.
Moments like these are a tale of midlife—but they also don’t tell the whole story.Behind the sparkle, many women quietly whisper something far more vulnerable...
“I feel like a stranger in my own body.”
When your reflection doesn’t feel like you anymore
Maybe you’ve noticed your clothes feel tighter even though your habits haven’t really changed. Or you find yourself crying at a movie that isn’t even sad. Maybe sleep, once effortless is now interrupted by night sweats or a racing mind at 3 a.m.
For some, these shifts feel like they appear overnight. For others, they creep in slowly — barely noticeable until suddenly, you don’t quite recognize yourself anymore.
This is perimenopause.
The missing roadmap
From a young age, we’re taught about puberty. We’re told how babies are made, why education matters, how to build careers, how to “be good adults.” But what comes after that?
It’s as if the roadmap disappears.
No one really prepared us for midlife, for this transformative, powerful, unpredictable chapter where hormones swing and the body recalibrates. And so when the changes come, we are unaware of how hormone imbalances may affect us.
What’s really happening?
Perimenopause is the transitional phase leading up to menopause, when estrogen and progesterone levels begin to fluctuate unpredictably.
● It usually starts sometime in your 40s (though it can begin in the mid-30s).
● It can last anywhere from 4 to 8 years.
● Menopause itself begins after 12 months without a period.
And here’s the tricky part: Many women don’t even realize they’re in perimenopause until life seems completely out of order. Symptoms can range from subtle to disruptive — and they can mimic other life stressors impacting women ́s health.
Common symptoms in perimenopause
● Irregular periods — cycles that shorten, lengthen, or change in flow.
● Hot flashes and night sweats — the “classic” symptoms, though not universal.
● Mood shifts — anxiety, irritability, or an emotional intensity that feels unfamiliar.
● Sleep changes — trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, sometimes due to night sweats or
racing thoughts.
● Fatigue — not just being tired, but a bone-deep weariness.
● Brain fog — memory lapses or difficulty concentrating.
● Changes in libido — shifts in sexual desire or comfort.
● Weight gain (especially around the abdomen) — frustratingly common, even without
lifestyle changes.
● Joint and muscle aches — a symptom many women don’t realize is hormone-related.
● Vaginal dryness — which can cause discomfort or urinary issues.
You’re not imagining it. And you’re not alone.
The good news?
While perimenopause and menopause are natural parts of life, it is still challenging for a vast majority of women. According to the British Menopause Society around 80% are experiencing symptoms of which 1 out 4 describe their symptoms as severe.
With the right support — lifestyle adjustments, mental health strategies, hormone replacement therapy and sometimes medical options — most symptoms can be eased, managed, or even disappear.
Often, simply understanding why things feel different is the first step toward feeling more at peace. From there, it’s about small, steady shifts that reconnect you with your body, your energy, and your sense of self.
Don’t settle for just surviving this transition. Life can and should be more than that.
What comes next
In one of my other posts I’ll share how you can embrace these hormonal changes and explore the practical, science-backed ways to support both your body and mind during this stage of life.
Because this lifestage offers an opportunity to grow, to recalibrate. It is a chance for you to rewrite the story, and your midlife story begins right where you are. For more support, guidance and tools, you can also explore our services, including our Feasting while Fasting Program and Nourish to Flourish Course.
With health and happiness,
Dr. Malin Garemo
Registered Dietitian (MSc), PhD Nutrition
